Tension



  • There seems to be a lot of bickering and tension (yes I'm aware i sometimes fall into this category) which is understandable to an extent with the current situation and money at stake.

    However I want to create a thread to try and alleviate the tension that is building and provide a little light relief in these times.

    I'm assuming that the majority of us all used to play when we were younger or still play if you're not an old fart, so, lets have stories of the funniest/stupidest/most insane thing that has happened in a game you've been involved in.

    I'll start with a few that come to mind.

    My best mate getting his nose bitten (yes it is a big target), the opponent when being red carded by the referee, snatched the card out of his hand and attempted to RIP it in half, only to be thwarted by the fact that it was laminated. He stormed off the pitch to shouts of derision from both teams lol

    In my playing days I only ever saw red twice, unfortunately ( or fortunately and stupidly depending on which way you look at it) both were after the match had finished. In one instance I was walking off the pitch talking to a teammate and said that I thought the ref had got his licence from a xmas cracker, unfortunately he was right behind me and heard every word lol

    The other instance I was captain at the time ( and set a very bad example lol), had run ins with ref over several games earlier in the season and after this one game I approached the referee and had the following conversation

    Me red, if I called you a cunt youd send me off right?

    Ref that is correct

    Me but what if I thought you were a cunt

    Ref well I cant do anything about what you think

    Me well I think you're a cunt

    Ref produces red cards

    Teammates delboy you fucking nutter what you doing!

    So, let's have a little bit of a laugh and share some stories



  • The Zen thread.

    Good stuff 👍



  • It's the way he tells 'em..... 🙈



  • So this is a thread to take us away from the arguing and tension, and reminisce about times of when we we argued with whoever wanted it in tense Sunday league games?



  • @Ericali said in Tension:

    It's the way he tells 'em..... 🙈

    Do we have a problem here? Do I need to see if theres a bouncer around to throw you out? 😉



  • @NewUser414667 said in Tension:

    So this is a thread to take us away from the arguing and tension, and reminisce about times of when we we argued with whoever wanted it in tense Sunday league games?

    Essentially......yes. at least its gotta be better than having so much tension building, laughter is infectious after all



  • Worrying signs for any future apocalypse that requires humans to work together for each other to survive. I mean, we have even turned on each other on a fucking inconsequential online football forum!



  • @Dr-Jan-Itor said in Tension:

    Worrying signs for any future apocalypse that requires humans to work together for each other to survive. I mean, we have even turned on each other on a fucking inconsequential online football forum!

    It's like the saying about being chased by a bear and only needing to outrun the slowest person. Whereas it should be about sticking together and facing the bear down.

    Humans are instinctively greedy and self centred, rather than being generous, empathetic and selfless not to mention tribalistic, so conflict is always going to happen in every walk of every day life.

    Let's just hope that if the day ever arises when we're attacked by little green reptilian men that we can at least resolve our issues and get along at that point lol



  • @Ddr If your looking for some tension relief. Here's a picture I often use. There's something for everybody there.
    0_1584135112584_Screenshot_20200313-212941.png



  • I suggest some music... Pure X is what i turned to today



  • @Dalien-Smith said in Tension:

    @Ddr If your looking for some tension relief. Here's a picture I often use. There's something for everybody there.
    0_1584135112584_Screenshot_20200313-212941.png

    This is a picture comparison of a drunken one night stand from the other week......on the right when I was drunk, on the left when I was sober in the morning 🤢🤮



  • This post is deleted!


  • @Ddr Tough break. But imagine waking one morning waking up next to a Ericali trophy winner. Yikes.
    0_1584136513946_Cupace20200313215157.png



  • Not game related but it is football related.

    About 15 years ago this, so I was early 20s. Bit of background so I can set the scene.

    Early 2000s you actually got dressed up to go out (not like now when you can go out in a pair of trainers) you couldn't go out in the City center without a pair a shoes on, or you could - but you wouldn't get in anywhere!

    Anyway.....

    I'm basically the dogs bollox at keep-ups, literally can do 1,000s every go, left foot, right right, shoulders, knees, stop it dead on my foot, onto the neck, back down & carry on etc. I wasted hours of my youth in the back garden controlling the ball when growing up. I can virtually do them until the cows come home or I eventually get bored or die of exhaustion - the balls basically on a piece of string. (Think Messi but better looking & taller) 😂

    It's a good party trick & has won me a few quid over the years, I've never met anyone better, although I've met a few (😉) better actual footballers.

    Was not long with the now Mrs & was out with a group of guys/girls watching an England match (probably Euro 2004) in a packed sports bar in Manchester.

    Anyway, h/t roles around (I'd had a few to be fair) & the DJ on the mike starts a keep-up competition (one attempt each) with the winner getting 2 pitchers of beer 🍺 (about 8 pints) as the h/t entertainment.

    Up a few drunkards go - all very mediocre efforts, most are pitiful, with the top score being about 52!

    I'm getting cajoled into going up, as everyone knows how good I am, it's just a case of taking the candy from the baby & bringing home the bacon for my clan.

    Chance to impress the future Mrs & the rest of the pub too, so I eventually have my arm twisted.

    Off I go.... DJ announces "next up we have Ericali" (edit: not real announced name) & off I go doing my stuff. Left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right, left - when the ball skews off into the crowd 😮 I'd fluffed my lines!

    Jeers go out from the crowd & I'm just another mug who can't trap a bag of cement, rather than the football God I know I am.

    I'm back & the inquiry is on "what happened, what happened?" I could only think it was the pointed winkle pickers I was wearing & blamed it on my footwear 😐

    I was disgusted with myself, Eric doesn't do humiliation or failure - and I stew on it for a few minutes, watching the other mugs prancing around like Bambi's on ice.

    I think, "fuck it, I want another go" I'll take off the shoes & do it with my socks on, I can do 100+ with a golf ball, this is a casey - it should be easy, it is easy! ⚽

    I go back up & badger the DJ for another chance, I'm breaking the rules here as it's one go per customer. I tell him I don't want the beer, I just want the win & will double the current highest score & donate the alcohol to the imposter posing as the keep-up king 🍺 when he finishes 2nd. (behind me)

    The DJ relents & I get my second opportunity to shine without the winkle pickers on!

    The crowd aren't happy & are booing before I've even started.

    Not a worry for King Eric, I feed on this type of stuff, I'm confident, who wouldn't be with this type of ability - I'll bang out a quick 60-70 & pull out the party pieces (tricks)

    Off I go.....

    Left, right, left...... It's gone! 😮 It bounces off my main bone in my foot & rolls into the baying crowd - I did 3!!

    3!!! 🙈

    Right, I'll get my coat 😂😂

    I often get reminded of this not so great moment now & it lives on in my nightmares!



  • Note to self, @Ericali buckles under pressure and expectation lol I 😉



  • @Ddr I'll blame the beer to be fair.... 🍺 😉



  • @Ericali said in Tension:

    @Ddr I'll blame the beer to be fair.... 🍺 😉

    Note 2 to self, theres always an excuse for everything with @Ericali 😉



  • @Ddr said in Tension:

    Note to self, @Ericali buckles under pressure and expectation lol I 😉

    Bigs himself up but is ultimately a flop?


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