Some light fictional reading - an interview with FI first team coach!

  • Exclusive pre-match interview by our reporter Nick (N) with Football Index FC Manager (M) – note that any similarities to listening to a QPR manager interview are completely coincidental!

    N: Gaffer getting straight into recent announcements and the fans are devastated by the news that our leading scorer and assist king ‘IPD’ will be leaving so suddenly.

    M: As you know Nick, I only joined FIFC end of June 2020 so ‘IPD’ was a permanent fixture in the side. He’s been here a couple of seasons and has been incredible. The fans love him, and to be honest the main reason I joined FIFC was because of the chance to work with him.

    He’s a terrific lad, nothing fancy, slow and steady but ‘IPD’ consistently delivers the goods week in week out which is what you need. It’s been so…erm… refreshing to work with IPD and he has brought immense joy to so many on match days. He stand-out performances were undoubtedly post lockdown in the summer when he was returning something ridiculous like 5 times his usual performance. I’m truly devasted at his departure, especially at such short notice.

    N: is there any truth that he’s had his head turned. He’s seen players leave and get their dream moves in recent windows to Crystal Palace, to Swansea City, to Middlesbrough and to Doncaster Rovers on loan and now he thought it was finally his turn?

    M: No Nick I don’t think that is the case. It’s unfortunate because like the fans I thought he was here to stay to the summer at the very least. There is a clause in his contract and his agent has badly advised him to enforce it and so he’s given us 30 days notice before he departs at the end of the 7th next month but he will be eligible to start up until then.

    Rest assured the board are working day and night to bring in IPDs replacement and we will have something in place before this window ends in January.

    N: Can you give the fans any idea as to some of the names of the replacements being lined up, there’s talk of ‘PB’s brother ‘Tiered PB’ or his cousin ‘Threshold PB’ coming in for example, or when exactly their arrival will be confirmed?

    M: Nick you know I would if I knew but these kind of details are well above my pay grade

    N: This was a very worrying turn of events, what assurance can you give that our Star man ‘PB’ won’t be going anywhere or as a matter of fact other key players like ‘MB’ and ‘TOTM’?

    M: I can assure you and the fans none of the key players you mentioned will be leaving. We’ve tied them all to 3 year contracts which both parties are fully committed to honouring. ‘MB’ has been here at the club since the very start, PB followed soon after and so FIFC is in their DNA.

    Ok ‘TOTM’ was a recent addition during my time at the club, but he’ll come good. At the moment ‘TOTM’ is a bit low and no-one is talking about him but I envisage this to change over time.

    You can see the direction the club want to take in recent years. We took ‘BOB – Bid Offer Button’ from Betfair FC and we’ve deployed him slightly differently depending on the occasion, although switching him has at times completely confused us!

    N: Yes but wasn’t IPD also on a 3 year contract like the others so couldn’t they also use the same 30 days clause and leave, let’s say hypothetically if your rivals Betfair FC were sniffing around and kept on prodding them?

    M: Technically you’re right Nick but that just won’t happen. It would spell the end of FIFC in my eyes and I won’t allow this to happen on my watch. Let’s just say IPD had to leave and take one for the team.

    He no longer fitted into the style of play we are moving towards and the lack of liquidity in the market overall is the major reason why we have not been able to recruit & offer the fans the performances they deserve.

    But it was a one off, things will improve and we’ll be rocketing up the table and it can’t be all doom and gloom when we don’t know who we’ll be replacing him with.

    N: Fair enough gaffer. All in all its been a difficult week. Looking back on the game last week were there any positives to come out of the defeat?

    M: Nick, its never good when you lose a football match but we lost the 1st half 3-0 and the 2nd half 4-0, if we’d taken our chances in the first we’d have come in 3-3 but we didn’t really create anything 2nd half so no there weren’t many positives if I’m honest.
    Individual errors cost us once again.

    N: what 7 of them?

    M: Yes 7, careless, sloppy individual errors. We didn’t look after the football well enough, weren’t winning initial contact, weren’t winning 2nd balls, didn’t prevent their transitions. And I know I sound like a broken record but if you don’t take your chances you don’t get any rewards.

    N: Form has been poor, well really for a number of months now. What do you put this down to?

    M: Firstly we have to stop scoring own goals Nick. It’s as simple as that, the fans are fed up and rightly so. We’ve had far too many own goals, and I’ve communicated this clearly to the team, and the boys now know every half of every match which goal they need to be scoring in!

    N: have there been some strong words said amongst the team?

    M: Yes there have been Nick. They are elite professional athletes and are hurting and its healthy to see that they are angry so those conversations need to happen but should remain mostly private.

    What I will say is that last week I went in and had strong words with Cuadrado, who by the way is a great lad, I said ‘stick to your position Juan…you can’t be playing in midfield and defence’ he said ‘ boss, I’m a defender but you always have been down in midfield. I don’t care where I play as long as I am in the team with ‘TOTM’. He said you make the same mistake with Maxwel Cornet, you’re playing him as a false no 9. Anyway we are all learning through these difficult times and continually improving.

    Juan also mentioned he’d spoken to Ever Banega, and I said ‘oh how’s he getting on this season at Sevilla’. ‘ah well here the thing boss, he ain’t at Sevilla no more, he’s moved to Saudi Arabia’. Well I never I said, ‘oh and another thing Boss you heard about Philipp Max’, what the great Augsburg defender in the Bundesliga, ‘well he’s no longer in the Bundesliga but has gone Dutch with his new girlfriend’ Get the f*** outta here I said. Anyway I’ve got to a keep a better note of where these lads are playing.

    N: Looking ahead to the next game have you had time to prepare fully or has the ‘IPD’ news derailed your preparations?

    M: The games continue to come think and fast Nick, sometimes it feels like we have a match nearly every day and when we don’t have a match there is always the Media to deal with.
    I’d like to add that we are a relatively new club only formed in 2015. Just look at RB Leipzig, who have been around for twice as long as us and see what can be achieved. It just wouldn’t be fair to compare us to the likes of Betfair FC, who’ve had decades of experience in comparison. The fans need to be patient with us as we build the success for this club.

    N: Thanks gaffer for your time as always. All the best for the match at the weekend.

  • @superhoop You got too much time on your hands🤣
    But I applaud the effort😉👍

  • @Gazz127 Cheers mate - yes you're right & I have even more time now I'm not refreshing for IPDs!

  • @superhoop shame the people at footie index dont put this much effort and thought into the product. Good efforf

  • @CLACKETT Thanks, glad you enjoyed it

Log in to reply